i am a person who is so full of anger. everytime i turn my head, there were stuff that turn my anger on and i can blow up almost at the time. that was one problem. ugly, right?
but then there’s another problem. i am so full of anger i even mad at myself for being angry. i hate that i get angry easily. to make it worst, because of such hate, i press my anger very hard i can feel my stomach hurt every time.
there are lots of methods to release my tension of course, but most of them are not easy to accomplish due to the situation i was in. once the moment of angry gone, i already forget the need to let it out. but the need was there, subsided, never going anywhere.
it could turn very, very beastly when hormones took a rule. once in a while i seemed not to be able to think with my brain, but my emotion instead. these kind of times are moments i fear and despise the most. they were so unforgivable and where most of my regrets came from. these regrets are the biggest reminder why i should suppress my angry.
but i’m only human. i’m aging. and i’m aging with rage. and at some point, i turned to dislike myself because i can feel the burn of serious anger inside of me.
i do admit that i need help. i need to find something or someone or some…stuff that can show me how to turn this anger into something that is forgivable, acceptable, not regrettable. i just don’t know where to find it.
so here’s my confession. help me, maybe?